新学年的开始给许多孩子带来了担忧 parents. 成绩好，睡眠充足，与老师相处融洽 and other students are all important. But one of the most concerning issues, as noted by Johns Hopkins Children’s Center mental health counselor Jami Margolis, continues to be bullying. 它会导致自卑，健康问题，成绩差和 even suicidal thoughts. Margolis answers some common questions about 学校里的欺凌行为，并为被欺负孩子的父母提供了一些建议 or are bullies. 

What is bullying?

While laws may vary from state to state, 许多心理健康专家接受的欺凌的定义是“在一段时间内反复发生的身体或言语攻击，涉及权力的不平衡。.”

How common is bullying today?

Bullying has been around for a long time. 不幸的是，现在它已经在学校达到了流行病的程度，特别是由于社交媒体. At Johns Hopkins, 我们通常在11月和12月开始看到欺凌事件, after kids have settled into their cliques.

Who is the typical bullying victim?

Anyone can be bullied. However, children who are socially different, 是否同伴接受度较低或被认为较弱的人更容易受到欺负. 虽然现在的孩子们更愿意直言不讳，但并不是每个人都愿意这样做. Those are the kids we see with depression-like symptoms. 当他们来到我们的诊所时，经常发现他们在学校被欺负.

What are the different types of bullying?

There are thought to be four types of bullying:

• Physical bullying 包括但不限于打、踢、推或以其他方式打架.
• Verbal bullying 指使用或误用言语，通过辱骂、侮辱或严厉的戏弄来伤害他人.
• Relational bullying focuses on excluding one or more people from a peer group.
• Reactive bullying 当一个人以欺凌他人来回应自己曾经的受害者吗.
• Cyberbullying 故意和反复的欺凌行为是否涉及电子技术，如游戏设备, the internet, social media, emails, blogs, cell phones, etc.

What are some examples of cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying can take many forms, including but not limited to:

• Sending mean or threatening emails, texts, tweets or IMs
• 诱骗某人透露个人或令人尴尬的信息
• 黑进别人的账户，假装成那个人却很残忍
• Creating websites to embarrass or make fun of someone

网络欺凌对欺凌者有各种各样的后果, 从被学校和运动队停学或开除到法律追索和潜在的刑事指控.

What if the child is bullied on social media?

While bullying itself is as old as time, 数字时代的工具常常使这个问题成倍地升级. 现在，一些欺凌受害者的可怕经历在互联网上到处都是. Not only is the child a victim in his or her personal life, 但孩子也可能不得不公开面对这个问题，并为此受到骚扰. 由于社交媒体上的欺凌，孩子们试图自杀. 如果这种情况发生在你的家庭，考虑向警方报案并提出指控.

What are children feeling when bullied?

They feel deflated and demoralized, 他们的自尊直线下降，他们觉得他们不能告诉任何人. They fear retaliation for saying or doing anything. Interestingly, some of these children become bullies themselves. 他们认为，如果他们不想成为受害者，他们就必须成为这个群体的一部分. 所以他们变得好斗，导致停学、开除和不及格.

What do bullied children need?

They need support from both adults and peers. 他们需要能够谈论他们的经历和感受. They are looking for a sense of belonging and being safe, as well as support in not blaming themselves for the bullying. 他们还想知道欺凌者会有什么后果.

How do you counsel victims of bullying?

我们讨论他们应该如何维护自己，如何成为好朋友, and how difficult both of these things can be. 我们与家长、学校管理人员和老师合作，帮助受欺凌的孩子减轻孤立感. 我们帮助学生找到安全的方法，鼓励他们呆在团体里.

我们也鼓励那些被欺负的孩子让他们的父母为他们辩护. 每个州的教育部门都有欺凌和骚扰表格，家长可以填写并提交给他们的学校. 根据法律规定，学校必须进行调查并提供反馈. We also identify advocates and other resources in the community.

What can parents do to stop bullying?

你可以通过保持冷静和支持来帮助你的孩子，并让他们放心，他们不应该为受害而受到指责. 保持公开的对话可以帮助欺凌的受害者感到舒适地谈论它.

你也应该保持警惕，注意孩子性格的变化. 如果你的儿子或女儿一直很快乐外向，突然他们躲在自己的房间里，不想说话, then something could be wrong. 首先，让他们知道谈话是安全的，谈话只在你们两个人之间进行. 如果你需要去学校，请匿名，并确保孩子不会受到任何伤害.

What advice can parents give to their kids about bullying?

Teach your children safety strategies, such as walking away, going to a teacher, coach or other safe adult or finding a safe public place. 培养孩子的自尊，鼓励他们向你举报欺凌行为, teachers, coaches or school administrators.

Should parents engage the bully’s family?

最好不要与家人接触，而是向学校行政部门报告欺凌事件，以便学校采取行动并进行适当的调查. 然后学校将对恶霸采取适当的措施, whether it’s peer mediation, detention, suspension or expulsion.

Any advice for the bully’s parents?

要坚定，强调欺凌永远都是不对的，并对攻击性行为设定限制. Remember to act as a role model and use nonphysical discipline.

What can schools do about bullying?

对学校来说，在社会心理学课程中设置反欺凌条款是个好主意, 学生在纪律道德规范上签字，将其视为可强制执行的违法行为. 学校应该对欺凌行为零容忍:如果你欺负我们，我们会让你停学, and if you’re caught again, you can be expelled.